Abby in Wonderland
by lunarmoth131
Summary: The title says it all! But, can you guess which NCIS character will play each Wonderland inhabitant? A little bit of Tabby. I'm rating it T for language and a bit dark in chapter 3.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Abby in Wonderland

Chapter: 1

Summary: The title speaks for itself, I think… but you may be surprised at who plays the various characters! No pairings (yet).

Disclaimer: I don't own anything created by Mr. Belisario, nor the writings of Mr. Dodgson. I'm simply a guest on their playground.

The day had started out to be perfectly normal. Abby woke at 0500 from force of habit, showered, and debated whether to take the time to eat breakfast. As usual she decided she wouldn't. Next step was choosing an outfit and she was ready to go.

Entering HQ was the same as every other day, too. She passed through the metal detector with no difficulty and Tom, one of the security guards, waved her in. "Good morning , Abby!" he called.

She returned the greeting and stepped into elevator, pushing the button for the 3rd floor first. She expected that most of the agents would have arrived by this time and she wanted to have a little fun before going downstairs to spend the day with her babies.

The elevator doors opened and Abby stepped out. To her surprise, the room was silent and empty. No conversation, no phones ringing, no people. She stood perfectly still for a moment, confused, then shrugged and decided to look around to see if someone was there.

Fifteen minutes later, Abby had searched every part of the squad room without finding anyone at all. "This is getting really hinky!" she yelled, stomping her foot in frustration. She noticed that her boot didn't make its usual dull thud when her foot landed, so she looked down to find out how her boot planned to explain itself.

But there _were_ no boots.

Instead, there were black patent pumps with a small heel. Not her usual style at all. She examined herself in the reflective glass, and gasped. "Hinkier and hinkier!" she said to her reflection. She was wearing a pinafore – a _pinafore_ – with a matching apron. Schoolgirl, possibly, but not sexy at all. Of course the dress was red and the apron black, which made sense, but that was the only thing that did. Her black hair was pulled back with clips and curled into ringlets.

Just then she heard a noise from behind the staircase, and she turned just in time to see someone with tall white ears and a fluffy white tail hurrying past her. She couldn't see his face, so she ran after him, in between the desks and partitions, as quickly as she could. "Stop!" she cried.

The rabbit paused for a moment and pulled out a digital pocket watch. "Oh, dear, I'll be late and the Queen will be so displeased!"

Abby rounded the corner and stared at him. "McGee?" she asked, amazed. "What are you doing?"

He paid her no mind, simply muttered again about being late and took off in a new direction. Abby followed, but she couldn't seem to catch up to him. Meanwhile her mind was racing, trying to imagine why McGee would be wearing a rabbit suit. She spotted him slipping into the stairwell. "McGee!" she shouted. "It's me, Abby!" By forcing a burst of speed she reached the stairwell before the door closed. He was going down, she was sure, even though his footsteps weren't loud (they wouldn't be, she mused, with those long, furry feet).

Suddenly a door banged shut somewhere below Abby, but she couldn't tell which one. "I'll just have to try them all," she said resolutely, continuing down the stairs. "But I have to be careful," she added, "because I have no idea what is going on today. In fact, I am not even sure that I am Abby anymore. Maybe I'm Ziva, or Michelle."

She cautiously approached the first door she came to, wishing there was a window so that she could look inside. She listened but heard nothing. "Well, I'll have to open it." She slowly turned the knob and pulled on the door, an odd scent reaching her nostrils. "Someone's smoking shisha," she observed, taking a deep breath despite herself. Soon she was feeling more relaxed and the problem of the McGee-rabbit didn't seem quite so urgent. "Who's here?" she called.

Following the trail of smoke, she wandered into a room with a very large mushroom in the center. On top of the mushroom she could see someone with long black hair sitting with her legs tucked to one side. This seemed to be the source of the smoke, so she walked around the mushroom and discovered that the person smoking a hookah was Ziva!

"Who are you?" Ziva demanded.

"Don't you know me? I'm Abby."

Ziva took a long pull on the hookah, then slowly shook her head. "Are you certain that you are Abby? Is it possible –" here she stopped to inhale from the pipe again, "—that you are actually someone else in disguise?"

"No!" Abby tried to ignore the doubts she herself had been having just a short time before. "I am sure I know who I am, don't be silly."

"You are silly," Ziva nodded knowingly.

"Now that was just mean," Abby replied, her fists on her hips. "Why are you acting so strange, Ziva?"

"Perhaps it is you who are acting strange." The room was gradually filling with more and more smoke, and it was becoming difficult to see. Because of this, Abby didn't realize at first that Ziva had slid off the mushroom and was standing right beside her. When Ziva spoke in her ear, Abby jumped, even though it was barely more than a whisper. "One side makes you larger," she confided, "and the other one makes you small."

She disappeared into the smoke before Abby could even interpret what she said, much less formulate a response.

A/N: How do you like it so far? Can you guess who Abby will encounter next? Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Abby in Wonderland

Chapter: 2

Summary: The title speaks for itself, I think… but you may be surprised at who plays the various characters! No pairings (yet).

Disclaimer: I don't own anything created by Mr. Belisario, nor the writings of Mr. Dodgson. I'm simply a guest on their playground.

Abby waved aside the smoke and peered intently at the mushroom, walking slowly towards it. "Did she really mean that?" she murmured to herself. " If I eat one side will I really get smaller? But which one? And why would I want to?"

She stroked one side with a finger. "Maybe I should test it." A quick tweak of her thumb and finger produced a small piece – a very small piece – which she cautiously placed in her mouth. She chewed slowly and measured herself against the height of the mushroom. "Oops! Wrong one."

She hastily grabbed a larger piece from the other side and swallowed it, resulting in a gratifying decrease in height. Just then a door slammed in the hallway, and she remembered the White Rabbit. She had to run quickly since she had become less than two feet tall by now, but as it turned out he entered the room with the mushroom.

"Oh, dear, oh, dear," he continued to wail, "where on earth are my fan and my gloves?" He glanced at her briefly. "Mary Ann! Why are you in here? Go fetch my fan and my gloves this minute!"

Abby stared up at him. "You can't order me around McGee! I don't care who – or what – you are. And my name isn't Mary Ann!" Offended, she turned and ran to the opposite end of the room, where she found a small door that she hadn't noticed earlier (thanks to the smoke and her former size).

As she slowly opened the door, she could hear shouting and clanging of crockery inside. "Change places!" a familiar voice shouted. Abby looked inside, startled. "What is _he_ doing here?" she asked herself. "And is he normal?" That was the most important question, since nobody seemed to be normal today!

Inside the next room was a large table covered with place settings, each with a different type of chair. Only three of the chairs were occupied: one of them was covered with crushed velvet, with armrests, another was a folding metal chair, and the third was only a wooden stool.

The occupant of the crushed velvet chair wore a tall felt hat, and it was his voice that Abby had recognized. "Gibbs!" she almost shrieked. "What are you doing?" She ran to him and attempted to give him one of her famous hugs, but he leaned away from her, almost suffocating the thin figure on the stool beside him.

"You are disturbing my tea party," he told her with a sniff, "and it's rude to come to a tea party when you have not been invited."

"But you have plenty of room! Why shouldn't –" Abby suddenly realized that she was talking to someone who looked just like Gibbs except for the silly top hat and bow tie, and she was amazed at how easily she adapted to the change. "This is ridiculous," she said, stamping her foot again and still unsatisfied with the lack of sound. "Gibbs, what is going on today? Why is everyone strange?"

"We're having a tea party," said the person – or rather, the hare – in the folding metal chair. His voice had a rich Scottish accent, and Abby didn't even have to look to realize that it was Ducky. "We have to have tea when it's three o'clock, you see, and because the clock is broken, it's always three o'clock."

The little mouse-like creature that Gibbs (as the Mad Hatter) had almost squashed sat up a bit, his whiskers twitching, and said, "Three o'clock! Dear me! Three o'clock!" Abby stared at him for a moment, then grinned. "Palmer, of course," she murmured to herself.

"What did you say?" demanded the Mad Hatter Gibbs.

"Nothing. Hey, have you seen a white rabbit around here? He's much larger than you three, running around talking about being late and the Queen being angry."

All three turned white at the mention of the Queen. "Dear me! The Queen!" said the dormouse.

They each grabbed a cake and began to run away from Abby, who put her hands on her hips. "Well, I never! How rude!" She noticed there was one cake left, with the words "Eat me" spelled out in currants. Abby began to giggle uncontrollably at the thought of that phrase and its many meanings. However, she knew she needed to eat it if she were to grow to her normal size, so she choked it down (almost choking herself in the process) along with half the pot of tea. Then she began to run after the Mad Hatter, Dormouse, and March Hare.

She could hear them running ahead of her, but couldn't quite catch up. After awhile the walls and desks and cubicles she was passing seemed to repeat themselves. 'I wonder if I'm really making any progress,' she thought, beginning to doubt her sanity, 'or if I'm actually running in circles.'

She had to stop to rest, throwing herself into a desk chair. Suddenly she heard an odd sound that was almost like humming. Jumping up, she called, "Is someone there?" The humming merely grew louder and it took on a pulsing quality. Just as she recognized it as a cat's purr, she saw a very wide smile hovering above one of the filing cabinets. Only a smile, nothing else. 'One could assume the smile would be attached to a cat,' Abby mused, 'due to the purring.' But all she saw was the smile. Still, she knew who it belonged to.

"Tony! Show yourself this minute!" she demanded.

Very slowly the Tony cat face developed.

"All of you!"

The rest of him appeared much more quickly. "Hi, Abby," he said.

She was stunned. "You're the first person to call me Abby this morning," she said. "And you responded when I said 'Tony.'" After staring at him for a moment, she added, "But clearly you are the Cheshire Cat."

"Yes, clearly," he agreed, grooming himself. "I think it's because the Cheshire Cat is so… well, so _me_, you know."

Abby snorted. "Yeah, I do know."

She paused, then asked, "What about this thing with the Queen?"

He managed to look a bit guilty. "Oh, that. Yes, we should be getting along. Go that way," he said, pointing in the same direction she had been running before. "I'll meet you there." She watched as his body slowly disappeared, followed by his face and, last of all, his wide grin.

She giggled as she began to run again.

Finally she glimpsed the dormouse in the distance, slipping through a double door that slammed shut behind him. "I hope it isn't locked," said Abby. She skidded a bit when she reached the door, and quickly turned the knob. "Oh, no!" she wailed. "I can't get in!"

"It's okay, I have a key," said a woman behind her. She wore something that looked like two birthday hats on her head, and she was carrying a pig.

"Uh, who are you?" Abby asked cautiously. To her the woman looked like Cynthia.

"The Duchess, of course! Now hold your tongue, girl, while I open this door."

She must have meant 'hold the pig' since that is what she gave Abby. Fortunately, the door was quickly unlocked and the 'Duchess' took back her pig.

When Abby saw what was in the next room she almost fell over in shock. It couldn't be!

But it was.

A/N: I'm so mean! Heheheh!


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Abby in Wonderland

Chapter: 3

Summary: The title speaks for itself, I think… but you may be surprised at who plays the various characters! No pairings.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything created by Mr. Belisario, nor the writings of Mr. Dodgson. I'm simply a guest on their playground.

* * *

_When Abby saw what was in the next room she almost fell over in shock. It couldn't be!_

_But it was._

The room was large and full of people. To Abby it looked a bit like MTAC but without the chairs. On the other side of the room, where the plasma screens would normally be, was a large, ornate throne with the same crushed red velvet as the Mad Hatter's chair. Abby squinted, trying to see who was sitting on the throne. A tall woman, with long red hair and a gold jeweled crown on her head – "Oh, my, it's the Director!" Abby cried.

"Out of the way!" screamed the White Rabbit. He was playing some sort of game – Abby thought she remembered it was cricket in the book – but the bat he used was a miniature Fornell! The rest of the players were using other FBI agents Abby had met. She couldn't restrain a laugh at the sight of them.

The game was not going smoothly at all. No one seemed to be following any rules and even though the Queen kept shouting at them to come to order, they ignored her. Abby was beginning to feel faint with the noise of the crowd and the close air of the room. Just then the Queen spotted her.

"Off with her head!" called the Queen, pointing at Abby. The players stopped the game and turned to look at her. Gibbs dropped Fornell and grasped Abby's arm, pulling her to the throne.

"Is this the one?" he asked.

"Yes," said the Queen, frowning at Abby. "Off with her head!"

"Off with her head!" repeated the crowd.

"No! Stop!" Abby tried to push them away. She noticed the Cheshire Cat was not visible. 'Tony is my only hope,' she thought. "Tony! Help me! Help!"

He began to appear, but not fast enough. Abby was falling, pushed to the floor by people she thought of as her friends. "Stop!" she screamed, just as the room fell dark and silent.

* * *

They could hear the screaming from the broken elevator, caught between the lab and autopsy. It had been over three hours since Palmer discovered that the elevator was stuck with Abby inside. The building's elevator technicians were attempting to clear the jam but so far they had not discovered the cause of the malfunction. Gibbs was pacing up and down the hall beside the lab, while Ducky was trying to calm her down, knowing that a panic attack could injure or even kill her.

"Abigail," he called, "It's Ducky. You'll be out soon. They're working on it right now." She didn't seem to hear him, and continued to scream. "Abby, can you hear me?"

Suddenly she stopped screaming and began to cry. "Tony! Tony, help me! Where are you?"

Tony looked startled, but Gibbs reacted instantly and pushed him toward the doors of the elevator shaft. "Talk to her!" he ordered.

He hesitated, unsure of what to say, but when he saw Gibbs poised to give him a head slap, he quickly called her name. "Abby! It's Tony, I'm here. You'll be okay, I promise."

There was silence from the elevator. Then she asked tearfully, "Tony?"

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, Abby, I'm here," he replied.

"Why can't I see you? Why don't you show yourself? I can't even see your smile."

Tony looked around at the others, wondering what she meant. Gibbs impatiently made the "keep talking" gesture.

"Oh, um – well, Abby, I can't let you see me right now, but you can hear my voice. And you'll be able to see me soon." He turned and shrugged, mouthing 'What do I say?'

Gibbs just nodded at him with approval.

"You promise?" Abby asked.

"I pinky swear, Abbs," he said fervently. "Very soon. Just relax. You're safe now."

Gibbs moved to where the technicians were working. "How long?" he asked quietly.

"We finally found the short in the system. Five minutes," they said, and he smiled.

"Tell her it will be five minutes."

Tony did so, and kept talking to her right up to the moment when they heard the elevator lurch and come to a stop, the doors opening to reveal her lying curled up on the floor. She blinked at the light and tried to focus the blurred images around her. "Tony?" she asked, sitting up slowly.

"Right here, Abbs," he said, helping her up.

"Take her in the office," Gibbs said. "Ducky, can you make sure she's all right?"

"Certainly."

The three of them made their way into the lab, while the others still stood outside.

"Why do you think she called for Tony?" Ziva asked curiously.

"Don't know," replied Gibbs.

"I think she may have been hallucinating," McGee said slowly. They went to the staircase to return to the squad room, knowing Abby was in good hands.

Meanwhile, Abby was still holding onto Tony tightly as Ducky examined her. Feeling calmer, she said, "You'll never believe what I dreamed while I was in there…"

the end

A/N: I hope you enjoyed my little bit of fantasy!


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